2014 is upon us already, surprising and unready as I am for each new year I am still ready to create and forge ahead. Another year has gone by. 2013 was one of the hardest years I’ve had. I experienced a great loss. My health and mental state suffered because of it, but I refused to give in to my heartache, though I was consumed by it many times. I wrote, and created after the dust settled. Pain can often stop us dead in our tracks both creatively and in our daily lives but with determination we can find new strength. The last thing you want to hear when you are suffering are those one liner quotes that are meant to make us feel better. “One door closes and another opens.” “This too shall pass.” “God doesn’t place before you anything you can’t handle.” When you hear these during painful periods in your life you can feel angered and frustrated, because that’s the last thing you want to hear. You might hold on to the pain like some wounded warrior nursing your battle wounds. These one liners come to be because others have suffered and healed and through that healing new light and hope can be found. Looking back it is easy to say, “this too shall pass.” During the pain however, you just want a hug, you want to back into a corner like some injured beast and lash out at those that come near.
I was there in my anger and hurt in that corner when my friends and family rallied. They didn’t give up on me and in my pain came to me and nurtured me back to my old self. They made me food, held me, brought me jars of honey from their own hives, listened and cried along with me. They welcomed me into their homes when loneliness was too much to bear on my own. They held my hand and helped me to remember I was loved. They reminded me to breath. Through that I found hope again. I took steps out of that misery and began to look around me. I was sitting in a self made box of despair. I decided to return to the studio to create, and while I was there I made a large and powerful pendant.
The stone is a druzy quartz. Through lore this stone is believed to be a powerful healing stone. This necklace became my talisman for strength. It reminded me of who I am as a creator and the feeling of peace I attain through creation. It’s weight reminded me to be grounded. The heat of my flame molded the silver into a warm embrace around the power stone as I too worked to heal myself. I took up archery again which helps me to focus my thoughts and breath. As I hold the bow and focus on my target, my mind must be still, my pains must be forgotten, and my breath must release. I cannot fire until every part of my being is stilled, and only then can I aim true. This reminded me of my own focus in life. How every day our spirits can benefit from stillness, our minds can be calmed by slow breath, and we can let go of our past hurts just as we exhale all calamity can escape us.
It is my wish that this year you are lifted up by those you love in times of need, that you find an outlet for what ails you. Remember or learn that you have beauty, strength and power. You only need to believe. And if you cannot, I hope that you find the will to come out of that corner, no longer injured on the path to healing, the path to hope. I have come up with my own one (technically two) liner for this past year; every day I try to fill myself with positivity, love, and light. I don’t always succeed, but every time I try it gets a little easier.